How to Manifest Love

"Stop looking for love, and that's when you'll find it" you've probably heard it before. But how exactly do you find something that you're decisively not looking to find? The answer is a simple, yet, nuanced one: manifestation.

The concept of manifesting love suggests that when you're comfortable and content with your life devoid of love rather than desperately searching to fill space you hold space for it. That's because you ultimately attract the energy you exude. And that's how to manifest love at the most basic level.

1. Decide what kind of love you want.

Setting intentions is the first step in how to manifest love. After all, you need to know what you want to get what you want.

"Getting what you want in terms of romantic relationships is all about intention," says Claire Grayson, a psychologist and co-founder of Personality Max, a personality test designed to help people get to know themselves better. "Many people struggle with finding the love they want because they don't know what kind of love they want. Therefore, you need to make it clear to yourself. If it helps, you can even write it down or create a mood board." 

Likewise, you have to believe that the person or people who can give you the kind of love you want really does or do exist, says Nicole Moore, love and relationship coach at Love Works.

"You have to believe that the kind of partner that you want exists — and that you can find them," she says. "Many people block their manifestations of love because they simply cannot see beyond their past experiences to believe in something new and different. They want better love, but they haven't decided on it. Instead, they let the past and the present be the limits of what's possible."

In order to manifest love, she explains that you need to believe in your vision of it, above all else. And you need to believe in it consistently.

"Faith isn't, 'I'll believe it when I see it,'" she says. "It's, 'I'll believe it until I see it.' Manifesting love is about choosing belief in your vision even when circumstances seem to prove that it's not possible."

2. Believe you are deserving of the love you want.

Once you consider what you want and understand that it's out there and that finding it is feasible, then you can move on to the next step in how to manifest love: You have to know that you are deserving of it.

"Simply put, if you don't feel worthy of the kind of partner or relationship that you really want, it's either not going to manifest into your reality, or it will, and you'll sabotage it," says Moore. "To manifest great love, you want to focus daily on feelings of being worthy and deserving of that which you seek."

Of course, to feel worthy, you'll have to ditch any limiting beliefs you have, adds Charmayne Kilcup, Ph.D., a psychologist, healer, founder of the Finding Soul Love Program, and the author of Heal Your Heart.

"We can only allow in that which we think we are worthy of," she says. "So if you feel unworthy based on experiences from your childhood or previous relationships, you've got to clear that out before you can attract in the kind of partner you are looking for."

3. Surround yourself with all kinds of love.

And now, for the final step in how to manifest love: Don't lose sight of the platonic love from your friends and family that satiates the soul, too. The more you surround yourself with all types of loving relationships, the more you'll put yourself in a position to attract romantic love.

"Your vibe attracts your tribe," says Grayson. "If you surround yourself with like-minded people, you'll continue to attract similar individuals. However, if you're in toxic friendships it's likely that you'll continue the pattern. So break it." 

And, of course, remember that self-love is the best love. After all, the love you receive is merely a reflection of the love you give yourself because you attract what you are and what you feel, explains Callisto Adams, Ph.D., dating and relationship coach at He Texted.

"In order to give and to receive, there should be a source from which the love flows; you become a source of love," says Adams. "The receiving part becomes a reflection of inner self-love. If you're 'chasing' it, you're seeing something that's not within you and seeking to find an external source to complete yourself. In order not to chase love, you have to learn to let go and seek love within your own self for your own self so that you become a source of love."

In other words: Surround yourself with people who make you feel like the best version of yourself, and then be that best version of yourself for yourself. That is how to manifest love not just any love, but the kind you deserve.